Please Don't Judge Me

An incident a couple weeks ago prompted me to write this down.

We attended a farewell party for one of hubby's colleague. We were the first one there. Upon entering the house, the host greeted us, we shook hands, introduced ourselves, then proceeded to the party.

JD was excited to be at a new place, excited to see the host's same age daugther, wanting to play with her. She quietly rejected his offer but he went on to explore the backyard overlooking a lovely golf course happily by himself.

5 mins after arriving and before the host could even offer us a drink, he made this judgement.

"I suspected your child has hyperactivity. Did you ever get him diagnosed?"

My husband went quiet. I was shocked at his statement. But I was not prepared for someone to judge my child after 5 minutes of meeting him. .

Rude. Insensitive. Arrogant. Judgemental. Such a host he was.

Without a doubt I responded, "My child has a high level of curiosity in him. He is of high spirit, filled with energy like what a normal 3.5 yo child should be."

With that, I excused myself.

Honestly, I had enough of people judging my child. And JD is my child, my son, my boy and nobody knows him better apart from me. I brought this child into the world, love him, nurture him, guide him, mould him, watch over him every day that has been given to me.

It hurts when people judge. And it hurts even more when once so often people judge him due to his happy, independent, determined spirit.

It also brought back a memory not so long ago when someone asked "How do you cope with a child like JD?" upon seeing him being active, running around in the garden chasing the birds. That question sounded almost stupid to me.

It didn't take me long to figure it out. But again I said "I don't cope because it is not a problem to start with."..."At least I have a child that is confident, sociable and not having to hide behind my legs everytime he meets someone new."

Ouch! I bet I touched their sore points too.

And on one of my recent conversation with a friend, this person was surprise to hear that JD is a child that would...

- shower me and his daddy with hugs, kisses freely

- rub my back when he sensed that I am getting stressed

- ask me if I am okay when he sees I am deep in thought

- lie down in a foetal position with me when I got a sick a few weeks ago

- remind his father to be careful on the road because it was raining

- ring his dad at work to say "I miss u daddy"

- say to his baby sis "It's allright, don't cry, mommy is coming"

- comfort his sister when she knocks herself singing "Hush lil baby"

- say "thank you mommy for the dinner" every night

- watch a cooking show with me and salivating over the food

- reminds me to have a good time when I go out for some ME time

- calls his mama (paternal grandma) if she wants us to bring her dinner

But most of all a very thoughtful boy that would constantly make sure whatever he has, there is always a share for his daddy, mommy and sister. It seems almost impossible to some people that an active child is also capable of a kind heart and loving spirit.

Now, if people has taken the time just to get to know him a bit better, perhaps they would be slower to judge but quicker to embrace his goodness.

And I am so proud of JD being so independent, happy, loving, caring because he is such a secured child. And I am proud of the fact that my husband and I have been able to provide him with such security from the day he was born. And that we love him so abundantly. And because of the love he has received, he has been able to reciprocate it back to us and those around him so freely.