Feelings + Hormones + Pigging Out
Suddenly I felt scared today. An unpleasant feeling niggling away. I can't put my fingers on it. Just a sense of fear, apprehension, anxiety...maybe it's just knowing the date that's drawing closer.
Suddenly I started to doubt myself, of whether I have taken good care of myself in the last 9 months. What if the stress and frustration I experienced sometimes have scared the little being that I have been given responsibility for.
Suddenly I started to worry the reasons behind my smaller appetite this time round. Have I eaten enough? Is my body prepared for it this time round? Have I neglected him/her?
It sounds silly. I shoudn't be feeling scared at all. I have been through it once before.
But is being through it once before that scares me a little bit.
All day I reassured myself. I meditated. I imagined a smiling bub in me. I did deep breathing.
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Not long after this post, my big sista W rang me all the way from KL. We had a laugh becoz I knew my emotional roller coaster is all HORMONAL! Yes, those damn hormones that plays havoc to your mood. And she also put it down as me having a football withdrawal symptom for the last couple of nights.
So tonight with packet of potato crisps, a caramel fudge ice cream that's already sitting in my fridge...I should be fine.
On this note, I am going to make a kick ass Chicken Pie for dinner now!
And here's how the Chicken Pie looked like. BTW, I dug out my good old electric pie maker for the pies to turn out looking so professional.
2 Comments:
Because of staying at home, your mind wonders and hence lots of funny thoughts. You see, your doctor just told you she is satisfied with your weight gain, etc. Soon you will be seeing doctor weekly i suppose. Then you can tell him your feeling and her support should be more reassuring.
You must also remember nature the Great Mother is supervising all. Remember your Bible, recite some of the pages you know well.
Regards
JJ
Yummy...I want
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