Feelings + Hormones + Pigging Out

Suddenly I felt scared today. An unpleasant feeling niggling away. I can't put my fingers on it. Just a sense of fear, apprehension, anxiety...maybe it's just knowing the date that's drawing closer.

Suddenly I started to doubt myself, of whether I have taken good care of myself in the last 9 months. What if the stress and frustration I experienced sometimes have scared the little being that I have been given responsibility for.

Suddenly I started to worry the reasons behind my smaller appetite this time round. Have I eaten enough? Is my body prepared for it this time round? Have I neglected him/her?

It sounds silly. I shoudn't be feeling scared at all. I have been through it once before.

But is being through it once before that scares me a little bit.

All day I reassured myself. I meditated. I imagined a smiling bub in me. I did deep breathing.

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Not long after this post, my big sista W rang me all the way from KL. We had a laugh becoz I knew my emotional roller coaster is all HORMONAL! Yes, those damn hormones that plays havoc to your mood. And she also put it down as me having a football withdrawal symptom for the last couple of nights.

So tonight with packet of potato crisps, a caramel fudge ice cream that's already sitting in my fridge...I should be fine.

On this note, I am going to make a kick ass Chicken Pie for dinner now!

And here's how the Chicken Pie looked like. BTW, I dug out my good old electric pie maker for the pies to turn out looking so professional.

Boys + Testosterone = TROUBLE

Now, is it just my boy or is it the common curiosity of boys or kids in general with KEYS and LOCKS!

My little man is fascinated with keys and locks. He loves keys of all sorts, car keys, house keys, padlocks, toy keys, anything that he could lock and open over again and again. When he was little, around the 16-18 months age, he was even more obsessed with keys. His daycare teacher used to see him heading straight for the kid's parents set of car keys when he saw them arriving to pick up their children, and he would sit on the floor admiring every single piece of keys!

The thing is JD has a good memory and quite observant in what we do around the house. He knows where I put the keys and how to unlock the front door of the house. He demands to lock the front door when we go out, though I insist I would lock up the house. It becomes a battle sometimes! It's stupid!

I became so worried of him unlocking the front door that I have to put the deadlocks on even when we are at home.

His whole fascination with keys and locks came to a standstill for me the last few days.

The little monkey has taken and hidden a set of keys for the garden shed. I realised the set of keys were gone when I tried looking for it on Sunday and whilst I initially suspected my preggie brain could have something to do with me forgetting and misplacing things....I soon realised it wasn't ME afterall. Honestly, I searched through the entire house, garden, garage, digging around the soil in my pot plants, crawling on all fours ... and after countless laps around the house, I thought to ask this little monkey.

Me: JD, have you taken mommy's keys?
JD: No, I don't know
Me: Ok, it has a green tag on the keys, have you seen it?
JD: Oh, I know, there, there....
Me: Ok, good, where is it, show mommy
JD: I don't know

ARRRRRGGGGGH! Deep breathing, mommy!

And just as I slumped myself onto the sofa almost with my head spinning, this little monkey reached into his pocket and handed me a set of keys! YES, that bloody set of keys I have been looking everywhere for! Arrrghhhhh, I SO wanted to smack him but ahhh, after counting to 10, I got down to his level, looked him in the eyes and told him with a very straight face NEVER NEVER to play with my keys again.

Now, as I thought that was over, guess what happened on Monday morning 5 mins before we had to leave the house!

HE LOCKED HIMSELF IN THE TOILET! YES, I REPEAT, LOCKED HIMSELF IN THE TOILET!

Arggghhhhhh! This has been one of my worst fears and just the night before I was telling hubby we needed to change the door handle in the toilet in case JD locked himself in there. Well, it happened! Yes, my worst fear came true! And JD knew it the moment he locked himself in. He was calling out "MOMMY. LOCKED. STUCK!"

Now, having never attempted any serious crime before, I had no idea of how to open a door with credit card! I rang hubby at work and he guided me using a screwdriver to open the door. That didn't work. So, at the end, I spent 30 mins telling this monkey how to unlock the door. After much wait and patience, he did it and stood at the door smiling at me!

This time, I was SO angry and SO wanted to smack him! Did he know how scared I was? With a big belly hanging out of me, totally tired and emotional.....and putting up with all his monkey tricks! I just wanted to cry and walked away then!

But, I managed to pull myself together, took a deep breath, counting 1 to 10, and gently but very seriously told him NEVER EVER TO LOCK THE DOOR AGAIN!

FULLSTOP!

And he said "Sorry mommy" and gave me a hug!

JD's little playmate

JD's baby cousin Jordan came for a visit today. He is 6 months old now, quite a big baby indeed. This baby is quite cool, not much cry, lots of smiles, calm, and loves observing things around him. He likes watching JD playing with his Playdoh and making a fool of himself.

JD wanted to carry the baby and we made them took a picture together.

Bleh!

Stuffy nose, watery eyes, itchy throat, lost my voice all happened overnight! I have come down with a damn cold and I had trouble sleeping last night. Finally fell asleep at 3am only to be woken up by the sound of lawnmower at 7am!

A day for chicken sweet corn soup, lots of warm honey and lemon drink, box of tissue, snuggle up on the lounge chair reading, watching DVDs and sleep!

Shopping mission

I went on a shopping mission yesterday and got everything I needed to get. In 90 mins, I managed to get:

- 2 sets of new pyjamas for myself
- An EL lip gloss and eye cream that I like
- 2 new business shirts for hubby
- Toys and games for JD including a magnetic fishing set, a spoon n egg race set, new paint brush, finger paints, craft scissors...all these for him when new bub arrives and for his upcoming b'day in Aug.

In a lot of the books I have read, many have advised the parents to get the older sibling a present when the new baby arrives, so that the he won't feel neglected or jealous. So I will be wrapping a presie today and get that ready for the big day.

I was thinking to myself last night, having the 2nd baby is a strange feeling. When I had the first one, all I ever worry was getting myself ready. Now that bub no.2 is on its way, there are other things to be organised with, like sorting out whom to look after JD when I go hospital, preparing the older child for a new sibling, assuring our love for him, telling him mommy will be away for a few days and the list can go on and on.

But the good thing is, we haven't had to buy any nursery products this time round, it's all hand-me-down from the 1st one which is really nice and easy.

Now, I am looking forward to having bub no.2. It will be nice for JD to have a sibling, thiugh it might take sometime for us all to get used to a new routine again.

Well, not to worry, as my mom always say "Cross that bridge when you get there"

So relax n be happy!

Saturday Fun

Ah today felt good. I got a few things done, including all the washing. I got my brows waxed, and that can be tick off my list. Friday night I brought JD into the city with me for some shopping, and also to meet up with hub for dinner. I had a craving for some crispy noodle from this restaurant in town, and thereafter we wandered around the city till 9pm! I was looking everywhere for a nice set of pyjama, but they are either too big for me or they are flanette! I tried everywhere, but came back empty handed. I have one more place to go on Monday, so let's hope I can find something I like!

I put in some new flower seedlings into the pot today and hub brought me to a nursery which I just luuurve! They have got such variety of plants and I picked up some Pink Petitie, Rodeo, Pansies and Impatients. There is nothing better than looking out into the garden with all the new flower seedlings...it is a nice feeling.

Last night JD also got into a handyman mood and was hammering everything in the house with his Bob the Builder toolsets. He loves to fix things, just like his dad. Whilst it was noisy for my ears, it was fun for him! And what is play if he didn't get to dress up like a real handyman!

What's next?

People sometimes say bad luck comes in three ... or sometimes I tend to believe that, if one thing breaks, they will come in 3 too. Last week it was my car (and I don't even want to mention the story, it's too painful). Yesterday it was my garage door! Yep, while I was trying to open up my garage door, the springs broke into 2 and flew to the other side of the garage!

I just stood there, counting myself lucky and at the same time shocked as...

1. My hubby's car that's normally parked at the side of the broken spring was parked in the drive way..otherwise it could have hit his car while my car is still being repaired

2. I was not standing anywhere near the door, else the broken spring could have hit me

3. JD was not with me yesterday, otherwise that could have been nasty too

Today I got a new quote for a new door, and like last week, I would need another Martini to calm me down (only if I could) when I saw the quote, ouch!!!!! But instead I will have a slice of chocolate cake if I could get my hands on one.

So, 2 big things have broken down in the past week, what's next?

My friend joked with me yesterday that the next thing to break could be my waters!!!! Ah, nooooooo, I know I am in the last month of pregnancy, but surely this baby can't come just this early yet! I still have a few things to do like getting my facial done, my eyebrows and legs waxed, another hair cut, catching up with some friends, put new seedlings in my garden bed, stock up on food in the pantry and freezer...

Well, my friend's joke became a bit daunting to me last night, so I got into the mood to fully tidy up the baby's room and really packing my hospital bag. No sneaking out of the room to watch Big Brother but really focussing on what I will need in the hospital! Especially underwears, lotion, moisturiser... I can't rely on hub for this, he always get it wrong with feminine products.

There's only one more item lacking in my bag - a new set of pyjama! Not that it really matters, but I have this thing with new pyjama after having a bub! The other thing is it won't be a good look to have a old, washed out, out of shape PJs on show in the hospital either.

Tomorrow I am going to get my eyebrows and legs waxed at 3pm! Cannot have doctor staring into my hairy legs when I am in labour, not very lady like!

Then I will drag hub to Bunnings with me on Sunday to get some new flower seedlings, and he will need to help me with the planting : )

And please I don't want a 3rd thing to break unless it's absolutely necessary! Maybe I should just go break a plate or something now to break the pattern, haha!

Salute!

This photo is posted specially for JD's wai gong (grandad) in Malaysia. I was trying to take a pic of JD and asked him to say "Cheese" and ended up he actually said "Cheese, Wai Gong!" and a salute too!

Obsession

You ever get into a situation when you have lost something and all you want to do is to FIND it!!!??? And you just can't rest till you find it. This is me now and has been for the last few days. And it's not a diamond ring or some million dollars notes or anything that really matters...but I am looking for one of JD's trains and its remote control! Yep, a damn toy!

During the Sunday afternoon while I was busy doing the ironing and at the same time trying to keep an eye on him, I spotted JD taking the train out into the garden to have a play! It was a quick glance and I never knew if he brought it back it. Whilst tidying up his toy room the other day, I realised it was gone...

And my mission to find it has been nothing but overpowering! I am dead set to find it. I can see it in my mind but I just don't know where the bloody train is!!!! Arggh, this is too frustrating...step by step I look through the entire garden, house, his room, my room, kitchen, bathroom and places that you wouldn't even think of and still there is no sight of it!

It's got to be somewhere...got to be

World Cup Fever

Yes, the World Cup fever has officially started in our household - mainly my hubby and son JD! At the moment, they are soccer mad, though my son is only 2.5 yo! But he has been enjoying watching the game with hub, which means sleep curfew for this little man has been slightly put back! The other night while I was lying almost comatose on the sofa, the father n son were cheering on Germany against Costa Rica! My head was pounding with all the "Ooooh, kick kick" "Oh, no" "YES YES YES" ... and finally I dragged myself into the room to sleep while I leaving the 2 of them to it, though I knew it was way way past a 2.5 yo bed time!

Here's a pic of what they did while enjoying the World Cup - popping pop corn into each other's mouth! Boys - things they do!!!!

Musings on a Friday arvo

Friday, sun is shining, birds are singing about, the warmth of the rare winter sunshine has lifted the cold crisp air in the morning. I have activities planned for JD and me, colourings, craft, walks, lazing around in the house, taking him out for lunch...

It's been a nice day. We have taken out all the old baby clothes to give it a nice wash, and man, I have forgotten they come in such small package. Maybe I am getting a bit anal, but the smell of the fresh laundry under the warm winter sun felt especially good.

JD and I sat down later on and did some craft. We got hold of some cardboard paper, felt, yarn, glue and started creating a picture. He wanted a sun, tree, flowers and I helped him cut out the little pieces. Whilst a bit wonky with his glueing, I managed to help him straighten up a bit. It was great! I really need to plan some activities for him around the house especially over the coming months and more so when bub arrives. Being winter, it's going to be wet and with a new bub, it's very likely we will be spending a bit of time in the house. I don't know how I will be like managing 2 little munchkins under one roof....but I can at least be hopeful!

I look forward to the times ahead, though seems overwhelming at times, I hope it would turn out just fine. I hope I wouldn't lose my cool and be a complete bitch. My friend's mum have this special little advice for me when bub #2 arrives "Don't worry if your house is in a mess - your kids are not happy if it's always neat and tidy".

I ask hubby last night if he wants me to cook up meals and freeze it, in a very relaxing and almost a very OZ way "Nah, love! I will handle it". And without thinking about it he said to me "I have cooked JD some nice noodle before!" To that I replied "Oh really?" and he sheepishly replied "Yeh, the packet Mee Goreng!" Hahahaha!

Later on hubby assured me that even if he can't cook while I am away, he will bring JD out for dinner everyday. So if I do my sums and add up:

McDonald's + KFC + Hungry Jacks + Chicken Treat + Red Rooster + Pizza Hut + 1 Chinese takeaway...I think they will be fine.

Strange Encounter

After dropping JD off at daycare this morning, I set off running a few errands - have a morning coffee, visited the bookshop, then craft shop to get a few supplies for JD's craft time at home. Later, on the way to my hairdresser, I stopped by at the nearest petrol kiosk to fill up my car as it was dangerously hitting the red line.

While standing there filling the petrol and looking at the meters clicking away, this car pulled up beside me. Out came a middle-aged man and still minding my own business, he just said to me "Hey, you are pregnant!", then reaching out to the front seat of his car, he handed me this bunch of longan!


I didn't know what to say, I just said "Thanks", but felt puzzled by the whole incident. Strange!